![]() This definitely posed a challenge career-wise, since many connections and opportunities were shared in these online groups. I’d found a supportive and inspiring community of women writers on social media who celebrated our successes and helped each other get a leg up in the world of publishing, but I didn’t have the same kind of access to this community while I was on my sabbatical. When a short story went viral, this friend sent it to me by e-mail, knowing that I’d be interested-and surprised-to learn that literature was making headlines.ĭuring that year I was also missing out on my connections with fellow writers. Luckily one of my best friends is a pop culture junkie and frequently updates me on which new podcasts are worth listening to and what bands are hot right now. I’ve never been very up-to-date on what’s hot when it comes to television shows and movies, but I’m passionate about certain aspects of pop culture, like anything having to do with Beyoncé, reggaeton, and Roxane Gay. In the absence of social media I quickly realized that I wasn’t going to come across information by accident, so I had to be intentional about seeking it.Īnother thing was that I lost my window into media trends. I requested photos from a far-flung friend of her adorable toddler and asked another friend to send me videos of her new puppy. Instead if I wondered how a friend was doing in her new job or how a colleague was managing a tough health crisis, I felt more compelled to reach out. My life couldn’t be observed by accident on the internet, and here was my friend asking for a glimpse.īecause social media was no longer facilitating communication, I couldn’t just be a bystander and wait to feel connected to people by way of their posts and pictures. I don’t know about you, but I usually think I know what people’s lives look like from the pictures they post online, not always thinking about and realizing how selective and limited these photos are. This became most clear to me when a good friend asked me during a long-distance phone call, "What does your life look like right now?" I was touched by her question and I realized that it isn’t one that we ask each other enough. Without the sense of familiarity provided by social media, I noticed my friends exhibiting a curiosity about my life that was not there before and vice versa. The facade of positivity that social media affords us gets in the way once again. Little do we know she needs our friendship and support now more than ever. For example, we don’t think we need to call our friend who often goes through depressive spells in the winter because she seems to be doing so well from the looks of her Instagram account. The truth is that when we mainly encounter people through social media we’re only scratching the surface. Or rather that I’m up to date on a version of their lives. What my sabbatical from social media has helped me understand is that I mostly have the perception that I’m up to date on my friends’ lives. ![]() When we get together in real life or on the phone, what is there left to share? It’s as if we’re never away from people because we’re constantly being updated via social media. ![]() Our curiosity gets dampened by the overabundance of information spewing at us from the many social media feeds we check countless times each day. With social media it’s so easy to feel as though you’re always up to date and you know exactly what’s going on in other people’s lives. We know about the kid they just had, or the sandwich they just ate, or the trip they just took-but do we actually know anything about the emotional landscape of that person’s life? Perhaps friendships in social media feeds are more distant that they appear. It’s keeping in touch without any of the legwork. I have a hunch that seeing people enact their lives on social media makes us feel as though we’re closer to them than we actually are. ![]()
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